William E. Gladstone (via literary-escapist)
Types of friends that you need to reject from your life
1. People who are inconsistent in the way they treat you.
2. People who do not know how to be thankful.
3. People who make you feel like you need to impress them.
4. People who only text/call you when they need something from you.
do you ever get into one of those situations where you’re like “I need to stop hating this particular person it’s not going to get me anywhere I’m just going to grow up and move on with my life” but then they do the tiniest thing to piss you off and then you’re like “nope fuck you right off I want to throw you off a bridge”
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”
i dont get it
No one explain it
After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”
"Don’t you mean a martini?”
"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."
i cant stop laughing omg
A not good friend punched her ex-boyfriend in the face and then a couple days later asked one of my really good friends to help her make a goal to get through her anxiety filled day. To which my good friend responded with “How bout not punching anyone in the face today?”